EFT focuses on the emotional bonds and attachment patterns underneath conflict, helping couples understand the cycle they get stuck in and reconnect emotionally. Where the Gottman Method emphasises skills, EFT emphasises the feelings driving the behaviour.
EFT is grounded in attachment theory: partners fight or withdraw because, underneath, they are asking 'are you there for me?' and not hearing yes. Therapy maps the couple's negative cycle — pursue and withdraw, attack and defend — and helps each partner express the softer emotions beneath their protective moves, so the other can respond differently. Over time the cycle loses its grip and a more secure bond forms. EFT has strong research support and is often combined with the Gottman Method.
Sessions are with both partners and are emotionally focused rather than task-focused: the practitioner slows conversations down, helps each partner name what is happening inside, and stages new, more vulnerable exchanges in the room.
Couples who feel disconnected or stuck in the same fight, and who want to understand and change the emotional pattern rather than only learn communication rules.
Further reading: International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Gottman is skills- and research-based on what works in relationships; EFT is attachment-based and works on the emotional cycle. Many therapists use both.
This page describes EFT for couples. Emotion-focused approaches also exist for individuals and families.
Often eight to twenty sessions, depending on how entrenched the cycle is and whether there has been a significant injury to trust.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency. OneBodyMind is not a crisis service. Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636.